Manchester City Star Erling Haaland’s Pre-Season Preparations: Meditating in the Middle of a River
Manchester City’s star player Erling Haaland was spotted meditating in the middle of a river before starting his pre-season preparations. Haaland shared a video of himself in his famous meditation pose, relaxing and recharging before the new season begins.
Before returning to England for the new season, Haaland was seen sitting cross-legged and meditating in the middle of a river, seemingly enjoying a moment of tranquility before the hustle and pressure of the Premier League.
Top Scorer for Two Seasons
Haaland scored 38 goals in 45 appearances across all competitions last season. Although the Norwegian player wants to compete in Euro 2024, it’s certain that extra rest will benefit him before the new season. The 23-year-old missed significant time in the 2023-24 season due to injuries and aims to regain his form following another Premier League victory under Pep Guardiola.
After finishing his peaceful holiday, Haaland will start training and join City for their pre-season tour. The Premier League champions will conduct their summer camp with an American tour, facing teams like AC Milan, Barcelona, and Chelsea.
Wow, meditating in the middle of a river? I mean, what could possibly go wrong? Maybe he thinks he’s a water spirit or something? Just waiting for the fish to start chanting ‘Om’ along with him. And let’s not forget, how’s he gonna explain this to Pep? ‘Sorry coach, I was too zen to train.’ But hey, at least the river is probably more peaceful than his last season’s injuries! I’m sure all that meditation is gonna magically fix those knees! What a genius move!
Oh, great! A soccer player meditating in a river. That’s exactly what I needed to see today. What’s next? Is he going to start doing yoga with dolphins too? Honestly, it’s like he thinks he’s untouchable now because of his goals. Look at me, I scored lots but I still need to sit in nature and think about… what exactly? How to kick a ball into a net without getting injured again? Good luck with that! Maybe just stay on land next time, huh?
Right?! Like meditating is going to make him invincible! This isn’t some superhero movie where you just gain powers by sitting cross-legged by the river! If anything, I’d be worried about slipping and falling into that freezing water. Can you imagine Haaland’s face when he realizes he’s more likely to drown than score another goal after that stunt?
I can’t even with this guy anymore! Meditating in the middle of a river like he’s some sort of mystical guru or something. Newsflash: Erling! You’re not Buddha; you’re just a dude who kicks balls for money. How does sitting there in your little ‘zen zone’ help you score goals exactly? Does Pep even approve of this nonsense? I can just hear the other players laughing at him while they’re trying to actually prepare for games!
‘Oh look at me, I’m so chill!’ Yeah right; let’s see how calm you are when you’re facing defenders who actually want to tackle you instead of letting you meditate on their turf! Do they even know what ‘team spirit’ means anymore? It’s not about floating down rivers but scoring goals on land!
‘Extra rest will benefit him’? More like extra time wasted if you ask me! He could have been training and improving instead of sitting there pretending he’s one with nature or whatever nonsense he believes now! It’s like he thinks being one with the river will somehow make him unstoppable—good luck explaining that logic during team meetings!
‘I missed significant time due to injuries’? Please tell me that this meditation thing isn’t his new injury prevention plan because that’s just comical! Next thing we know, every player will be trying out weird relaxation techniques instead of hitting the gym and practicing their skills before Euro 2024!
‘Oh joy!’, said no one ever while watching Haaland meditate instead of preparing for actual matches. What an interesting way to prioritize personal well-being over team dynamics right before an intense season starts—real smart thinking there! Let’s hope those summer camp opponents don’t take pity on his ‘peaceful moments’ and crush him instead.